Ryan Russell's 15 Reasons You Will HATE Going On A Global Tea Hut Trip
by Ryan Russell
Ryan Russell's 15 Reasons You Will HATE Going on a Global Tea Hut Trip:
If you have a problem with tea that is drunk leaves in a bowl, this journey may be confusing.
If you have an aversion to eating fresh wild tea-blossom honeycomb whilst wandering through ancient tea forests, please reconsider.
If you have a personal limit of making no more than fifteen new friends on a long voyage, you will be sorely disappointed.
If drinking tea near massive magical waterfalls scares you, avoidance may be prudent.
If you've been to Jingmai and you find the local practice of adding Crab's Claw to your tea reprehensible, stop reading now.
If you find Wu De's volcanic dharma-flow to be overwhelming, simplify your life through Zen abstinence.
If you cannot bear the sound of a guqin strummed expertly to the rhythm of a tea tasting, the trip may not be for you.
If you find two tea sessions in a single afternoon under ancient tea trees excessive, stay in the comfort of your home and have just one.
If the wildly hospitable nature of the Chinese people makes you uncomfortable, the Earth is home to many cultures.
If you demand that your vegetarian meal contain fewer than ten different dishes, this lifestyle could spell DANGER.
If you can't stand a tea sage such as Master Tsai smiling at you every day in a manner that makes you want to serve with a pure heart, by all means, don't read any further.
If the sunrise through an ancient wooden oculus over a misty Jingmai mountainscape hurts your eyes, you may find things visually challenging. (Back cover.)
If tea prepared by a beautifully costumed auntie in the old Ku Chuong method offends your purist sensibilities, there are less exotic places where they won't add things like pine resin to your puerh.
If manual labor is undesirable and you have balance problems, you probably shouldn't be making tea cakes from old-growth trees and gyrating atop a marble cake press. Right?
And finally, if excessive hugging causes you discomfort, you are, of course, entering a world of hurt joining a Global Tea Hut trip.
